Encouraging your parents to create an estate plan
“Someone is sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago.” – Warren Buffett
“Failing to plan is planning to fail.” – Benjamin Franklin
“Preparation is the key to success.” – Alexander Graham Bell
“An hour of planning can save you 10 hours of doing.” – Dale Carnegie
“The best way to predict the future is to create it.” – Peter Drucker
The holidays are often a time for family to gather, enjoy each other, and have meaningful conversation. While estate planning may not seem like the most festive topic, it’s one of the most important discussions you can have with your parents at least some point in your life.
So, how do you bring this up? Here’s an approach to consider as this topic can carry weight and be a sensitive subject whether you’re starting the conversation as the child or responding as a parent.
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For Children: How to Start the Conversation…
If you want to talk to your parents about estate planning, here are a few ideas of how to start the conversation:
Ask a Practical Question: Begin with something simple. Mom/Dad, if something were to happen, where would I find your important documents?”
What you’re looking for is a “start here” document. This question leads into discussing whether they have a plan in place and where to find: Wills or trust, safe codes and keys, computer passwords, personal or financial advisors and mentor names and contact information, etc.
Suggest a "Start Here" Folder. Recommend creating a folder or document that contains:
Contact information for key people (lawyer, CPA, etc.)
Safe codes, keys, and digital passwords
The location of wills, trusts, and medical directives
Instructions for funeral arrangements or heirlooms
Express Why It Matters to You.“If something ever happens (or when it does happen), I would rather spend the time grieving and/or cherishing our memories than trying to figure out how to fund the funeral or wondering what songs you want played.”
Focus on Their Legacy. Position estate planning as a way for them to leave a legacy, not just divide assets.
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For Parents: How you might consider Responding…
If your child initiates the conversation, it is likely they’re nervous about the topic and want to avoid the idea of you being gone just as much as you yourself. Take it as a sign of care.
Acknowledge Their Concern. “Thank you for thinking about this. It means a lot that you care about making things easier for the family AND you’re looking out for me.”
Be Honest About Where You Are. If you have a plan: “We’ve already done some planning. Let me show you where everything is.” If you don’t: “This is a good reminder to get started. Let’s make a plan together.”
Commit to Action. Take proactive steps to ensure everything is in order:
Create or update your estate plan.
Organize key information in a central folder.
Share your wishes with family members.
Lead the Conversation. As a parent, it’s your responsibility to prepare and guide your family. A proactive approach ensures that your wishes are clear and your loved ones are cared for.
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Where to go from here…
The holidays are about connection and care. By having this conversation now, you can give your family the gift of preparedness and peace of mind.
If you need help getting started with estate planning, we’re here to guide you. Contact us today or visit our website for more resources.
Now a few practical gift ideas for this topic:
Duncan & Stone Legacy Journal: These legacy journals and memory books make the perfect gift for a parent or grandparent. Filled with simple guided prompts, mom and dad (or grandma and grandpa) will be able to share their life stories step-by-step by answering one question at a time. The gift of a Legacy Journal is one that your whole family will cherish because it preserves treasured memories and stories for generations to come.
An Estate Plan: HootOwl Legal is an estate planning firm that provides a holistic and approachable legal experience. We help empower families and individuals with the knowledge of the entire process; what is an estate plan, why you need one and how they can evolve over time.
23 & Me Ancestry Kit: There are many benefits of DNA testing, including finding relatives, learning whether you have genetic variants you could pass onto your children, and receiving personalized insights into your health and ancestry. In addition to taking greater control of your own health and digging deeper into your ancestry, you can also opt in to participate in research that could help fuel scientific discoveries that benefit the larger community.